Custody and visitation cases in NJ don’t usually start with a dramatic courtroom scene. They start the way most real family problems start: with a parent sitting at a kitchen table late at night, trying to figure out what they’re allowed to do… and what they should not do.
In our practice, we speak to parents every week who are carrying the same mix of emotions—fear, frustration, guilt, and a strong need for stability. And the first thing we do isn’t “talk legal.” We slow it down and talk process—because when you understand the process, you make better decisions and you protect your position from the beginning.
This guide is written the same way we explain it in a consult: plain language, practical steps, and the parts of the New Jersey Family Court system that matter most when custody and parenting time are on the line.
First, a quick translation: NJ says “parenting time,” not “visitation”
A lot of people still say “visitation.” New Jersey courts typically use the term parenting time—and the difference isn’t just vocabulary. “Parenting time” signals that this isn’t about one parent “visiting” a child. It’s about the child having meaningful time with each parent, when safe and appropriate.
When you file or respond in court, you’ll see custody and parenting time discussed together for a reason: the court is trying to structure the child’s life—not just referee adult conflict.
What NJ Family Court is deciding in a custody case
Most custody cases boil down to two categories of decisions:
- Legal custody is decision-making authority—who makes major choices about education, medical care, and general welfare.
- Physical custody is the child’s primary residence—where the child lives most of the time (and how time is shared between homes).
- Then there is parenting time, which is the schedule—weekdays, weekends, holidays, summers, exchanges, transportation, and communication.
Parents often assume the “custody label” is everything. In reality, the parenting time schedule and the fine print in the order can be just as important as whether the case ends with “joint” or “sole” custody.
Custody and Visitation Cases in NJ follow two different tracks
The process depends heavily on whether custody is happening inside a divorce or outside a divorce.
Custody in a divorce case (FM docket)
If you’re filing for divorce (or already in a divorce), custody and parenting time are handled in that divorce case through the Family Part.
Custody outside a divorce (FD “non-dissolution” case)
If you were never married, you are separated but not divorcing, or you’re dealing with custody/parenting time/child support without dissolving a marriage, New Jersey courts often handle that under a non-dissolution (FD) case. The NJ Courts self-help materials describe non-dissolution complaints as cases like child custody, parenting time, child support, and parentage (paternity).
This distinction matters because it affects the paperwork, how the case is opened, and what the early steps look like.
Step 1: Where and how you file in NJ (and why JEDS is a big deal)
New Jersey has moved a lot of Family Court filing into electronic submission. For many people, the easiest starting point is JEDS (Judiciary Electronic Document Submission).
JEDS lets you submit documents 24/7, although they’re processed during normal court business hours (weekdays 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., excluding court holidays/recesses).
A few practical notes that catch people off guard:
JEDS is designed for a computer or laptop—it does not work on mobile devices.
You’ll need electronic copies of your forms, and the system has file type and size limits.
If you submit by 11:59 p.m., it can receive that same day as the filed date (once accepted).
For FD non-dissolution cases, NJ Courts also describe filing options as online, by mail, or in person at the local courthouse, and they note you generally can file in the county courthouse where you live.
In a law office, we don’t treat filing as “clerical.” Filing is the foundation. If the initial request is unclear, incomplete, or inconsistent, it can make everything harder later—especially if you’re asking for a temporary schedule quickly.
Step 2: Serving the other parent (and why filing is not the same as notice)
One of the most common misconceptions is: “Once I file, the court tells the other parent.”
In the real world, you typically still have to make sure the other parent is properly served and the case moves forward in a procedurally correct way. The court process doesn’t fix service mistakes for you.
If you’re responding to a filed matter, NJ Courts explain that you may file an Answer, and depending on the circumstances you may also file additional requests (for example, requesting a consent conference—more on that below).
If you’re unsure about what to file and when, that’s one of the moments where getting legal guidance early often saves money later. Fixing avoidable procedural issues after the case is already tense is the kind of thing that drains parents—financially and emotionally.
Step 3: The Consent Conference—an early chance to resolve custody without a war
If your case qualifies, a consent conference can be one of the most productive early events in a custody/parenting time case.
NJ Courts describe it as a meeting that may be held at the courthouse, where a judge or Family Division staff meets with parents to see whether they can reach agreement and obtain a court order.
A few key points the court highlights:
Not every case is eligible; cases are screened for consent conferences.
You generally request it by filing the appropriate request after filing your Answer (NJ Courts notes it should be filed as soon as possible after you file the Answer).
The goal is to resolve issues by agreement and enter an enforceable order.
From a lawyer’s perspective, here’s why consent conferences matter: they reward preparedness and reasonableness.
If you walk in with a workable schedule, a calm explanation, and the documents that support your concerns, you often look like the safer choice for stability. If you walk in with accusations but no plan, you usually leave with… no plan.
Step 4: Mediation—where custody and parenting time disputes often get shaped
A lot of parenting time disputes aren’t truly “legal” problems. They’re logistical problems that became emotional problems.
That’s where mediation can help. In many families, mediation is the first place parents build a schedule that actually fits the child’s life: school, sports, childcare, commutes, homework, sleep, and holidays.
When mediation works, it typically creates a framework that reduces conflict because expectations are written down. When it fails, it still helps narrow the issues so the judge isn’t trying to solve ten problems at once.
If you’re going to mediation, we generally advise clients to show up with:
A realistic schedule proposal (not a punishment schedule)
A clear list of the sticking points
A willingness to compromise on the small things so you can hold firm on the big things
You don’t have to “give in.” You do have to show the court you are the parent trying to create stability.
Step 5: If you don’t agree—what happens next
If parents can’t resolve custody and parenting time early, the case typically moves into a phase where the court is trying to gather reliable information and make temporary decisions while the case proceeds.
This can include:
Temporary parenting time arrangements so the child’s routine isn’t in limbo
Requests for records (school, medical, etc.)
Court involvement to resolve disputes about exchanges, communication, holidays, or safety-related boundaries
This is also the stage where it becomes extremely important to stop thinking like you’re arguing with your co-parent and start thinking like you’re building a record for a judge.
Judges don’t “feel” your stress. Judges evaluate what they can rely on: patterns, follow-through, safety, and practical parenting.
Emergent custody and parenting time issues in NJ
There are times when you can’t wait weeks for a normal court date.
NJ Courts explain that an emergent application is one that requires a judge’s immediate attention because the moving party will suffer “immediate and irreparable harm” if it is not reviewed right away.
NJ Courts also explain that JEDS can be used for emergent matters, and emergent filings submitted while courts are closed are processed on the next business day.
The court also posts fee information for certain FD filings, including:
An emergent application fee (listed as $25) in the FD context
A separate child support-related filing fee (listed as $6) in certain circumstances
One important caution: “emergent” is not supposed to mean “I’m furious.” It’s meant for immediate harm situations. If you file emergent papers for issues a judge sees as routine conflict, it can hurt your credibility.
What the judge is actually looking for
Most clients want to know: “How do I win custody?”
A better question is: “How do I show the court what arrangement protects my child’s stability and wellbeing?”
New Jersey custody decisions revolve around the child’s best interests. Courts look at things like:
Whether parents can communicate and cooperate
The child’s needs and stability
Safety issues, including any history of domestic violence or abuse
The child’s relationship with each parent
Practical realities (distance between homes, school continuity, work schedules)
That “practical realities” point matters more than people expect. A schedule that looks fair on paper can fall apart in real life if it ignores commute time, childcare, or the child’s routine.
2026 update: NJ custody law changes parents should know about
If you’re reading this in 2026, you should know that New Jersey enacted a significant update affecting contested custody procedures.
Public sources tracking New Jersey legislation report that S4510 was approved on January 20, 2026 as P.L.2025, c.316, and it addresses procedures in certain contested child custody cases.
The bill text reflects a stronger, explicit focus on child protection and safety, greater attention to a child’s expressed preferences in contested cases, and tighter limits around court-ordered reunification therapy.
What this means in plain English: if your case is contested and involves serious allegations, safety concerns, or therapy disputes, you should assume the court will expect a more careful record and more careful reasoning. It’s not the time for vague accusations—or vague denials.
Modifying a custody or parenting time order later
A custody order is not always the final word.
Life changes. Kids grow. Parents move. Work schedules shift. Sometimes a schedule that worked at age four becomes unworkable at age nine.
NJ Courts provide self-help guidance on changing a court order in a non-dissolution case, which is useful for understanding that there is a process to request updates rather than improvising outside the order.
The important takeaway is this: don’t “self-modify” in a way that violates your current order unless you have a written agreement or a new court order. That kind of move often becomes the issue in the case—rather than the original dispute.
Parenting coordinators: a practical tool for ongoing conflict
Some families don’t need a judge every time there’s a dispute. They need a structured way to resolve day-to-day issues.
NJ Courts describe the Parenting Coordinator Program as a tool designed to help parents implement their parenting plan and resolve day-to-day parenting issues with a neutral third party.
The court also notes that under Court Rule 5:8D, a parenting coordinator may be appointed and may be selected by the parties.
In practice, this can reduce repeated court motions over issues like exchange logistics, activity conflicts, and recurring misunderstandings—especially when both parents are otherwise capable but communication is consistently strained.
Common mistakes we see parents make (and how to avoid them)
We say this gently, because custody cases are stressful—but some patterns reliably cause damage:
Parents put adult conflict into writing where the judge can see it
Parents treat parenting time as a reward or punishment
Parents refuse reasonable compromise and then seem “rigid” to the court
Parents ignore the current order because they think it’s “unfair”
If you take one thing from this article, take this: your child’s stability is the North Star. When your choices line up with stability, your case usually gets better. When your choices line up with revenge, your case usually gets more expensive.
Filing fees in FD custody matters (the quick version)
Fees depend on what you’re filing, but NJ Courts’ self-help fee guidance for FD filings includes examples like:
No fee for filing an FD case with CN 11492 (as listed on the fee guidance page)
A $6 fee for certain child support-related filings in the FD context
A $25 fee listed for emergent applications in the FD context
Always confirm current fees for your filing type before submitting—because fees and procedures can change, and the system will also prompt you when filing in JEDS.
When you should talk to a lawyer
Some custody cases are straightforward. Many are not.
If any of the following are true, it’s usually smart to get advice before you file (or before you respond):
- You believe your child’s safety is at risk
- You’re facing allegations that could affect custody
- You’re worried about relocation or out-of-state issues
- You’ve been served and you don’t know what to file next
- You want parenting time—but you also want a schedule that works long-term
The earlier we’re involved, the more we can shape the first impression your case makes. In custody, first impressions matter.
How to contact Sammarro & Zalarick
If you’re dealing with custody or parenting time issues and want guidance that’s grounded in real Bergen County family court experience, you can contact Sammarro & Zalarick, P.A. Our office can be reached by phone at (973) 478-1026, and you can also use the contact form on our website if that’s easier. If your situation feels urgent, calling is typically the fastest way to get direction.