Blog

If you’re in the middle of a divorce or custody case, you’ve probably had this thought:

“If the judge could just see these messages, they’d understand.”

You’re not wrong—digital evidence is a huge part of modern New Jersey family cases. Texts, emails, social media messages, screenshots and even posts can help show patterns of abuse, parental alienation, broken agreements, or hidden behavior. New Jersey courts see this kind of evidence every single day.

But here’s the hard truth: judges don’t treat every screenshot like a “mic drop.” Some digital evidence is powerful. Some is useless. And some can actually hurt the person who brings it in.

As Bergen County family lawyers, we spend a lot of time sorting through clients’ phones and inboxes to decide what is worth putting before a judge, what needs context, and what should never see a courtroom. This guide is our plain-English answer to the question:

“What digital evidence do NJ judges actually consider—and how do I use it without backfiring on myself?”

How New Jersey judges think about digital evidence in divorces

New Jersey doesn’t have a separate set of evidence rules just for texts and screenshots. Instead, courts treat digital evidence like any other writing: to get it in front of the judge, it has to be relevant, authentic, and not barred by some other rule (like hearsay that doesn’t fit an exception).

That means three basic questions:

1. Does it matter?

Does this message make an important fact more or less likely? A random nasty text from five years ago usually won’t carry the day in a 2025 custody case—unless it’s part of a bigger pattern that still matters now.

2. Can we show that it’s genuine?

Under N.J.R.E. 901, the person bringing the evidence has to offer enough proof to show “this is what I say it is.” That’s called authentication. The bar isn’t perfect certainty; it’s “enough proof for a reasonable person to believe it’s real.”

3. Was it obtained properly?

Even a damning text can be a problem if you got it by hacking into your spouse’s account or installing spyware. Evidence gathered illegally can create its own legal headaches and may be excluded altogether.

Once you understand those three ideas, it becomes easier to see which texts, emails, and screenshots are worth focusing on.

What “authentication” really means for texts, emails, and screenshots

Clients often assume they need a representative from Verizon or Facebook sitting in the courtroom to testify. That is almost never required in New Jersey.

Our courts have been clear: digital communications are authenticated under the same rules as any other writing. In a leading case, the Appellate Division explained that social media posts and electronic messages are not “special” for authentication purposes. The court in State v. Hannah rejected a higher standard for tweets and held that ordinary evidence rules under N.J.R.E. 901 apply—just like with letters.

In practice, judges often accept digital evidence as authentic based on:

• A party’s own testimony: “This is a screenshot of my text conversation with my ex on March 5, 2025. This is my phone number, that’s their number, and I took the screenshot myself.”
• The context of the messages: they refer to specific events only that person would know about, they match prior communications, they use nicknames or speech patterns that fit.
• The reply doctrine: a message appears as a direct reply to another, making it very likely it came from the claimed sender.

You don’t have to prove “beyond all doubt” that a text is genuine. You just have to give the judge enough to be comfortable that it’s real. After that, the judge decides how much weight to give it.

What judges don’t like is a single, cropped screenshot with no context: no date, no phone number, and no sense of what came before or after. Those are easy for the other side to attack.

Types of digital evidence NJ family judges actually pay attention to

Different kinds of cases call for different types of proof. The same piece of digital evidence might be explosive in one case and a non-issue in another.

Here’s how we see texts, emails, and screenshots being used effectively in real New Jersey divorce, custody, and domestic-violence matters.

1. Custody and parenting time: patterns, not one-off zingers

In parenting cases, the court wants to know: What kind of parent is this person in real life? Digital evidence can help show that—but only if it reflects a pattern.

Judges pay attention to things like:

• A long string of messages showing one parent always confirming homework, school events, doctor’s visits, and changes calmly—and the other parent ignoring or sabotaging those efforts.
• Texts where a parent repeatedly refuses agreed parenting time without good reason, or tries to use time with the child as a bargaining chip (“No visit unless you drop support”).
• Screenshots of a parent making inappropriate comments to or about the child, or involving them directly in adult conflict (“Your father doesn’t care about you,” “Tell your mom she’ll be sorry in court”).

They are less impressed by:

• One angry message sent in the heat of the moment years ago.
• Screenshots that show only what helps you, with no context.
• Endless minor bickering that just proves both parents are human and stressed.

When you’re trying to show parental alienation, poor judgment, or lack of cooperation, judges are looking for consistent behavior over time, not a single bad day.

2. Domestic violence and harassment: threats, stalking, and unwanted contact

In TRO/FRO hearings under New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, digital evidence can be crucial. Many cases turn on:

• Threatening texts (“If you leave me, you’ll regret it”).
• Stalking or monitoring behavior, including obsessive messaging or tracking through apps.
• Violations of an existing restraining order (“I know I’m not supposed to text you, but…”).

Screenshots and message logs are often used to prove the predicate act (harassment, terroristic threats, stalking, etc.) and the ongoing need for protection. Judges may look at the tone, frequency, and escalation.

That said, the way you obtained those messages still matters. If you forced a password, installed spyware, or otherwise broke into a device you had no right to access, that can create separate legal problems and undercut your case.

3. Finances: hidden income, spending, and lifestyle

Texts and emails can play a supporting role in financial issues:

• Messages bragging about big cash deals or side jobs that never show up on pay stubs or the tax return.
• Emails about hidden accounts or transfers.
• Screenshots of payment apps that contradict what someone claims in their Case Information Statement.

Judges are cautious here—they know that one screenshot doesn’t prove a full pattern of fraud. But if those messages line up with bank records and other documents, they can help show undisclosed income, dissipation of assets, or false financial disclosures.

4. Social media posts: shows up more than you think

Even though this article is about texts, emails, and screenshots, we can’t ignore social media. Posts, DMs, tagged photos, and stories can:

• Confirm substance abuse or risky behavior that a parent denies (photos of intoxication while supposed to be supervising the child).
• Show travel or spending that contradicts claims of being “broke.”
• Reveal violations of a parenting order (posting from a place the child wasn’t supposed to be taken).

New Jersey courts authenticate posts the same way as other digital writings: context, testimony, and circumstantial evidence. Hannah again is the classic example—where a screenshot of an offensive tweet was accepted based on the victim’s testimony and the account details.

What not to do when collecting digital evidence

We see a lot of well-intentioned mistakes. Some can seriously hurt your case.

Don’t hack or snoop beyond what you’re allowed to access

If the device or account is yours or shared, that’s one thing. If you’re guessing passwords, installing hidden software, or going through a partner’s private account without permission, you can cross the line into criminal or civil liability.

Evidence obtained by illegal access can be excluded and may cause new problems. One New Jersey practitioner guide points out that extracting messages from a phone that isn’t yours without consent can violate state and federal law; the “great” text you found may never be worth the risk.

Before you start digging beyond your own devices and accounts, talk to a lawyer.

Don’t delete your own posts or messages once a case is brewing

If you’re already in litigation—or you reasonably expect to be—New Jersey law expects you to preserve evidence, including digital evidence. Deleting posts, messages, or accounts that might be relevant can lead to a finding of spoliation, sanctions, or an instruction that the court can assume the deleted material was unfavorable to you.

If you’re worried about what’s out there, the safer path is:

• Stop posting.
• Change your privacy settings.
• Preserve what already exists.
• Get advice on how to manage old content the right way.

Don’t flood the court with every petty insult

If you hand your lawyer 600 pages of screenshots, many showing nothing more than mutual sniping, you make it harder to spot the truly important messages. Judges are busy. If you bury the key evidence in noise, it’s easier for the other side to say, “Everyone was heated; this proves nothing.”

It’s our job to curate and present a focused set of messages that actually move the needle. Your job is to save what might matter and avoid sending new messages you’ll regret.

Practical tips for preserving and organizing digital evidence

If you’re in New Jersey and think your texts, emails, or screenshots might matter, here’s a sane way to handle them.

First, back up before you clean up. Use your phone’s backup options or export conversations to a safe location. Don’t rely on a single device.

Second, capture context, not just a single line. Judges often want to see the date, the sender/recipient, and a reasonable chunk of the conversation before and after the key text. A lone sentence, cropped tight, is easy to challenge; a timestamped thread is harder to deny.

Third, keep a simple log of important exchanges. For example:

• Date and time
• Platform (text, email, app name)
• Short description (“Cancelled parenting time last minute,” “Threat,” “Confirms no school tomorrow”)

This makes it much easier later when your lawyer is deciding what to include in a motion or trial exhibit.

Finally, store copies in a safe, private location. Cloud storage with strong passwords, a locked external drive, or a secure client portal your lawyer provides are better than a folder on a shared home computer.

Common questions we hear about digital evidence in NJ family cases

“Can texts really be used against me?”

Yes. In New Jersey, texts are treated as written communications like letters or emails. If they’re relevant and can be authenticated, judges absolutely consider them. Several recent NJ family-law articles highlight how text messages have become “crucial evidence” in divorce and custody matters.

“Do I need to subpoena the phone company?”

Usually, no. A subpoena might be helpful to obtain call logs or confirm account ownership, but most of the time, screenshots plus your testimony are enough to authenticate messages. Courts do not typically require a carrier representative to testify for every text.

“Is it okay to look through our ‘shared’ devices?”

It depends. If you share a family iPad or computer and both use the same password with no privacy agreement, accessing messages there is very different from secretly installing spyware on a locked personal phone. These are fact-sensitive questions—and exactly the type of thing to run by a lawyer before acting.

“Will the judge read every screenshot I saved?”

Probably not. The judge will read what is properly presented as exhibits or attached to certifications in support of a motion or used at trial. Our job is to trim hundreds of potential screenshots down to the ones that clearly support a legal argument.

How we use digital evidence for clients in Bergen County and across NJ

At Sammarro & Zalarick, digital evidence shows up in nearly every family case we handle. The key is not just collecting it—it’s using it strategically.

In custody cases, we use texts, emails, and screenshots to tell a story judges recognize: a parent who consistently shows up, communicates, and supports the child’s relationship with the other parent, or a parent who repeatedly undermines agreements and puts the child in the middle.

In domestic-violence matters, we use messages and screenshots to show patterns of harassment, threats, or stalking that match the statutory definitions, not just isolated blow-ups. We also make sure the evidence was gathered lawfully and preserved properly.

In financial matters, we sometimes use digital content to corroborate lifestyle, spending, or undisclosed work that doesn’t match what appears in tax returns or on a CIS. It’s rarely enough by itself, but it can be the piece that makes other documents make sense.

Most importantly, we also help clients stop creating harmful digital evidence. That can mean coaching on how to respond (or not respond) to provoking texts, advising on social media use, and building healthier communication routines that impress a judge instead of alarming one.

Final thoughts: “Anything you put in writing can end up on Exhibit A”

If you take one idea away from this article, let it be this:

In a New Jersey family case, anything you text, email, or post can end up as digital evidence.

That can be a good thing or a very bad thing depending on how you use it. Judges don’t want to see every petty argument. But they absolutely pay attention to clear, authenticated messages that show how someone really behaves as a partner, co-parent, or spouse.

If you’re in a divorce, custody, or domestic-violence case and you’re not sure what to save, what to send, or what to keep off your phone altogether, we can help.

Contact Sammarro & Zalarick for a confidential consultation. We’ll review your situation, look at your digital trail with a judge’s eye, and build a plan that uses the right evidence—and protects you from creating the wrong kind.

Note: This article is general information, not legal advice. Laws and procedures change, and every case is different. For advice about your situation, speak with an attorney licensed in New Jersey.