New Jersey common law marriage is one of those phrases people use with total confidence… right up until it matters. A breakup. A death in the family. A health insurance question. A tax issue. Suddenly someone says, “Don’t worry, we’re basically married—we’ve lived together for years.”
As Bergen County family lawyers at Sammarro & Zalarick, we hear this constantly. And I get why it sticks: it feels fair. You build a life together, share bills, maybe raise children, and everyone around you calls you “husband and wife.” It sounds like it should count for something.
But in New Jersey, the legal answer is blunt, even if your relationship story is complicated: living together does not create a marriage here. And believing it does can cost you real rights—property, inheritance, benefits, and a clear path if the relationship ends.
(This is general information, not legal advice for your specific situation.)
New Jersey common law marriage: the short answer
No—New Jersey does not recognize common law marriage for marriages “created” in New Jersey after December 1, 1939. New Jersey law requires a marriage license and a marriage performed by someone authorized to solemnize it; without those, the marriage is treated as void.
That date isn’t a technical detail. It’s the dividing line. Any “we’ve been together long enough so the law treats us married” argument usually collapses right there.
Why NJ doesn’t have common-law marriage anymore
People assume common law marriage is a modern trend. It’s the opposite—it’s old law, from a time when travel was harder, records were inconsistent, and communities sometimes treated couples as married without paperwork.
New Jersey moved away from that. Courts have repeatedly pointed back to the statute and explained that New Jersey intentionally drew a bright line: no license + no proper solemnization = no valid marriage (for marriages after that 1939 cutoff).
From a practical standpoint, the reason is obvious: courts don’t want to hold mini-trials on “Were they really married?” every time a relationship ends. A license and formal solemnization create clarity.
The “7-year rule” (and other myths) that trip people up
Let’s clear up the biggest misconceptions we see in Bergen County:
“If you live together long enough, you’re automatically married.”
Not in New Jersey. Cohabitation—no matter how long—does not create a marriage in NJ.
“But we call each other husband/wife.”
Also not enough in New Jersey. “Holding yourselves out” might matter in states that still recognize common law marriage, but it doesn’t override New Jersey’s license-and-solemnization requirements.
“We share a bank account and bought a house, so that’s basically marriage.”
Sharing finances can create other legal issues (ownership, contracts, equitable claims), but it still doesn’t create a marriage in New Jersey.
This is where people get blindsided: you can have a deeply intertwined life and still not have the legal protections spouses have—unless you took formal steps.
What if we had a religious ceremony or a “commitment ceremony”?
This comes up more than you’d think: couples have a ceremony, exchange vows, take photos, call it a wedding—then years later discover they never obtained a New Jersey marriage license.
New Jersey courts have treated marriages without the required license as absolutely void, even where there was a ceremony.
That’s a painful conversation for families, especially after a death or during a separation. And it’s exactly why we tell clients: if you want to be married in New Jersey, get the license and do the legal steps.
If you’re unsure about the licensing process, the New Jersey Department of Health’s guidance on marriage licenses is straightforward.
Out-of-state common law marriage: can it follow you into New Jersey?
Here’s the part that makes this topic more than a simple yes/no.
While New Jersey doesn’t let couples create a common law marriage inside NJ, some couples may have a relationship that another jurisdiction treats as a valid marriage—and that can matter once they live in New Jersey.
A small number of U.S. jurisdictions still recognize common law marriage in some form, though the rules vary.
And federal agencies note that many states that don’t create common law marriage may still recognize a valid common law marriage that was established elsewhere, depending on the circumstances.
In plain English: if you truly formed a valid common law marriage under the law of another place, New Jersey may treat you as married for certain purposes—but you’ll likely have to prove it under that other jurisdiction’s requirements.
This is not a DIY area. If your marital status affects inheritance, benefits, or whether you need a divorce filing, you want a careful legal analysis.
Which states still recognize common law marriage?
The list changes over time, and some states recognize it only in narrow situations. The National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL) maintains a state-by-state overview and notes that laws differ widely.
What matters for you is less “the list” and more this question: Where did you live, and did you meet that jurisdiction’s test for being married?
How do you prove (or disprove) an alleged common law marriage?
If someone claims “we’re common law married,” the burden typically falls on the person making the claim to show the relationship meets the other jurisdiction’s legal requirements.
Evidence often includes things like:
- whether you both intended to be married (not just committed),
- whether you presented yourselves publicly as married,
- whether your documents and conduct matched “spouse” status.
Different jurisdictions weigh these differently, and New Jersey courts strongly prefer clear legal status over informal labels—because New Jersey itself abolished common law marriage.
What rights you don’t automatically get in NJ without marriage
This is where the “common law marriage myth” can become expensive.
If you’re unmarried in New Jersey, you generally don’t automatically receive:
- the same inheritance rights as a spouse (without estate planning),
- the same rights to equitable distribution of property upon breakup,
- automatic spousal benefits tied to marriage status,
- the structured support framework that comes with divorce law.
That doesn’t mean you have no rights. It means the rights come from contracts, property law, and planning, not from marital status.
Why people confuse common law marriage with palimony in New Jersey
In NJ, unmarried couples sometimes hear about “palimony” and assume it’s the same as being “common law married.” It’s not.
Palimony is about support promises between unmarried partners. New Jersey has a statute-of-frauds requirement for palimony agreements (meaning, generally, promises must be in writing to be enforceable), and the New Jersey Supreme Court has addressed what parts of that statute are enforceable.
The takeaway: if you are relying on support promises, get them documented properly. A handshake understanding is where disputes—and heartbreak—tend to live.
How to protect yourself if you’re living together in NJ
If you’re building a life with someone and you’re not married, you still have options. The smartest plan depends on your goals, your ages, whether children are involved, and how much you’ve financially intertwined.
Make your relationship status intentional
If you want the legal rights of spouses, the cleanest route is still marriage—done correctly, with a license.
If marriage isn’t your plan, you can still use agreements and estate planning to reduce risk.
Consider whether civil union or domestic partnership applies
New Jersey still provides pathways like civil unions and domestic partnerships for eligible couples, each with its own requirements and legal effects. Domestic partnership eligibility in NJ is limited (including age-based eligibility for opposite-sex couples), and the Department of Health outlines those rules. The NJ Treasury also explains the Domestic Partnership Act context and administration.
Put the boring protections in place
If you’re cohabiting long-term, “romantic” doesn’t protect you. Documents do. That can include cohabitation agreements, property agreements, beneficiary designations, and estate planning tools. These aren’t about expecting the worst—they’re about preventing a preventable mess.
NJ reality check: when this becomes a crisis
The most common moment this issue explodes isn’t a breakup—it’s an emergency.
A hospitalization, a sudden death, or a benefits claim is where people learn, quickly and painfully, that “we acted married” is not the same as “we are married.” If you’re reading this and you have a long-term partner, take it as a nudge to confirm your legal status now—while you have choices.
FAQ
Does New Jersey recognize common law marriage if we lived together in NJ for 20 years?
No. Length of cohabitation in NJ does not create a New Jersey common law marriage after the 1939 cutoff.
If we were common law married somewhere else, do we need a divorce in NJ?
Possibly, yes—if you have a valid marriage under that other jurisdiction’s law and New Jersey recognizes it, you may need a formal divorce to dissolve it. The details matter, and you’ll want legal advice on proof and jurisdiction.
If we had a ceremony but no license, are we married in NJ?
New Jersey courts have treated marriages without the required marriage license as void.
If you’re dealing with a breakup, questions about property, or you’re not sure whether your relationship could be treated as a legal marriage because of time spent in another state, it’s worth getting clear advice before you make big decisions. Sammarro & Zalarick helps clients throughout Bergen County and Northern New Jersey navigate family law issues with practical, straight answers. If you’d like to talk through your situation, contact our office to schedule a confidential consultation and we’ll help you understand your options and next steps.
Note: This article is general information, not legal advice. Laws and procedures change, and every case is different. For advice about your situation, speak with an attorney licensed in New Jersey.